a toast to my atheist friend

as I walk through the valley of flowers 
I will think there is no God. as I cut my 
wrists - I will still think there is no God 
as the ground is nourished with my flesh 
will there still be no God? Then why will 
I return as a tree? a causal connection btwn 
a seed falling, and me decomposing: dear friend why do I 
even decompose - why am I not just plastic 
but that too is recycled: as we are till we escape so instead 
as I walk through the valley of flowers
I will  think there is a God. as I cut my
wrists - I will still think there is a God
as the ground is nourished with my flesh
there still is a God and as I return as a tree
and you as a bird or worse as a man who sits under trees, we
will  have this discussion again why exist 
why not just exit 
why not believe