Today my son corrected me. I tried to be mad as I am when his sister corrects me but I could not be. My heart was beating so fast, and tears were trying not to fall. I was so happy.
My son is autistic. It was hard at first to fathom that his life would be little more than just being two years old for the rest of his life. But through speech, occupational therapy, a readi program (Reaching Early Autism with Diagnostic Intervention), a summer speech therapy group, and almost two years of PPCD (Preschool Program for Children with Disabilities), a glutton, casein free diet my child had the ability to say, "no mommy this is over there not here."
My son is about to turn five in November and since his conception my son has caused me the most painful moments in my life. At about six months the specialist we had to see because of my age and gestational diabetes told us our son probably had a hole in heart. And that we may want to think about options. We declined the options and promised to love him regardless and he was born with no hole in heart.
Then when he was born he was in the NICU (neonatal intensive care unit) for over five days. I saw blood drawn from his little foot hourly those first three days of life. He was allowed in my arms only to try to feed. Regardless of my Cesarean - I demanded that I be allowed near my son at all times. I slept very little those five days. Then for the first three months he mostly slept on my chest. His development then seemed almost normal but when refused to walk and had no words I grew concern. His eye contact was minimal and when he got excited he fluttered like a butterfly on his little toes.
When the pediatrician finally agreed with me that there was something wrong with my son at eighteen months - I delved into the most painful research which revealed how truly empty my existence was. For as I understood my son's diagnosis, I realized why my marriage
always felt odd and off for I discovered that my ex husband is on the autistic spectrum
too. My husband retreated, refused the reality, ran so many marathons, and miles that I was all alone. So I decided to be alone. We divorced in August 2012.
That decision has caused my ex husband to reevaluate his life. Reevaluate how he deals with the children. He is now tolerant of most meltdowns and he is learning how to teach our son and daughter how to deal with their alleged disability.
For see I do not see it as a disability, not anymore, I see it as a new world order and the pandemic of autistic children will soon redefine and refine the human ability to perceive the world for you see the "this" my son corrected me on - really did go over there. I was in the wrong.
