I get lost in translation
my information is skewed
to my perspective and this
is wrong. to say a year and
to say next year is not equal
in quantity still there is truth
I can't escape. I will be one
year older. and I fear - what
is it I fear?
being older, being alone
being lonely, just being
closer to death, dwindling
choices in partners, more
grays, more wrinkles, hot
flashes or maybe I fear not
having the story book ending
disney throws on the screen
and ann rice writes about. if
I wanted that I should have
stayed married, to all passer
- byers my life was good.
He even went to church, still
it wasn't right. shallow not
even deep enough to cool
off. now I am in so deep I
fear I'll drown. perhaps that
is it - perhaps we are not anchors
at all - perhaps we fell over
board - perhaps my fear, dear
fellow is that I am being used
as a life preserver when I can
barely preserve myself. though
I still pretend I can - perhaps my
fear is I am using you dear fellow
as my life preserver: perhaps
that is my fear, my deepest fear
to need
