i have sat many places some
are lonelier than others - in
my youth, margarita in hand
i was lonely even though my
husband was beside me - i
wanted to reach out and throw
the drink at him. at times i did
his only reaction was to get
a towel: and his statement i
was in one of my moods i
had so many moods back then
ranging from anger to rage
half way through - my rage
became indifference it is worse
than rage: no longer did i drink
margaritas i drank red wine. glasses upon
glasses of red wine. good wine
and my husband sat next to me
and i did not feel a soul until
i wanted to escape from mine
then i had two souls inside me
giving those two souls bought
me time: i stopped red wine
and there was never enough
vodka present i was lonelier
than i ever was and i wonder
if my then husband ever felt it
the loneliness: the sheer exhaustion of absence
i have sat many places since then
and i have felt rage and indifference
but i have never felt absence
