there is a strong need to rescue, to be the winner
to know all to be all to secure all - all alone - it
is bred into one out of fear and lack of touch. I
was never allowed a voice: in Spanish or English
it is my primary nature. and I wonder if it is hers
I can forgive her - it is an easy thing to do: as easy
as being on my back and staring past - counting ceiling
tiles and wondering when it would be over so I could get
some lunch an easy thing to do to numb the pain. in part
I want to but then I don't because I could never forgive
myself at my age. she is young, I am not. I am not looking
to numb my pain. I am looking to escape it all together
and I know escape is not under a man I do not love ever again
I am sorry beloved for hurting you. I was young. I am not anymore.
