It turned out that I had lost
myself - it was an easy thing
This loss - I almost believed
It myself: I was sane, dependable
Honest full of integrity and hope
It had come out in part during
My divorce I drove the stick so
Far up my ass I was almost
Saintly, you would have been
Proud beloved in part I did it
To prove you yet wrong again
I wasn't the whore you thought
Me to be - I was sane, loving
Caring: so caring blood dripped
From my hands - this is how he
Found me: how he thought me to
Be - who he believed in these last
Four years: now and again a skip
Yelling, throwing, hurting: a simple
Hiccup in the programming - with
X at the sidelines grinning - X knew
That wasn't me - waiting patiently
For the implosion cuz X knew the real
Me
What I truly am - and so i am found
Pulling heads off beautiful flowers
Planning, conniving, prideful, hurt
Full, hurt filled, arrogant, lying: a step
Away
From falling
