to dare honesty i must one
day tell him about you man
across the sea. i demand his
fidelity in body mind & soul
it is a crushing demand. one
i cannot give him. will not -
my soul is mine, my mind
given to a numerical abyss
my body his: for how long
i dare not say: each day i
grow stronger able to face
my past, the grief i caused
myself and my beloved by
my wanton disregard to his
propriety. how could it hurt
my love if my love did not
know - he knew. he knew
like i knew his love for me
i am almost there like yarn
pulled from a badly crochet
row: in my life i part with very little. i may
not have it but i know where it is. in w-'s life
he parts with everything: knows not where
it goes, his ease in changing is my love
for him. my truth is his honesty: his truth
my deceit
my apologies for my deceit my hazel eyed man
i deceive all - and it is in my plans to never again
be so...
